Funny Little Pregnant Things

The good, the bad and ugly pregnancy facts those other books won't to tell you.

Next Generation Indie Book Awards 2016 Finalist in Gift/Specialty/Novelty

“Brutally honest and laugh-out-loud funny, with chapters short enough to read between trips to the bathroom, this is a welcome addition to the expectant parent’s bookshelf.”
―Booklist

This book is not designed to tell you the “best” way to do anything. You’ll have plenty of people telling you, “This is how I did it and my way is, in fact, the best.” All pregnancies are different and so are the babies they produce, so one method of preparation may work for one baby and not the next. “They,” whoever “they” are, seem to change the rules each year anyway. “Microwave your deli meat, never mind just use caution while eating.” Good cause I wasn’t going to do that anyway. “Feel free to gain lots of weight while pregnant. Actually, we are only going to budget you 20lbs.” Whoops too late. “Have a martini and a cigarette it will help you relax, sorry we got that one wrong.” Yeah no shi*, Sherlock.   As a mom-to-be, I read a few of the prerequisite pregnancy books, and although factual, I found most of them to be very dull. When Chapter 3 let me know my baby was now the size of lemon, I gave up. Is there actual practicality in knowing that my child resembles produce? Where was the good stuff?   After having two babies, I realized these books left out so many little details that you would only know if you had delivered a child. Details that are very important. For example, beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own! At least provide me with a pregnancy book with some humor, then maybe I can make it to Chapter 6, where my baby now resembles a melon. In order to help those like me, who want some realistic tips in an easy to read fashion, this book is an account of some of the ridiculous things you may encounter while pregnant. It also includes, “the good, the bad and often gross stuff,” people forget to mention. For example, there is a greater than average chance you will shi* yourself while giving birth. (Pregnancy: who ever said it would be easy?)

Publication Date: April 28, 2015

Description

Next Generation Indie Book Awards 2016 Finalist in Gift/Specialty/Novelty

“Brutally honest and laugh-out-loud funny, with chapters short enough to read between trips to the bathroom, this is a welcome addition to the expectant parent’s bookshelf.”
―Booklist

“A no-holds-barred and funny glimpse into all things pregnancy, Funny Little Pregnant Things made me cringe and laugh, sometimes at the same time. Doherty covers gritty, grimy, intimate bodily changes, baby prep, and life post-child with candor and humor. I thought I knew everything there was to know from my girlfriends and other books―but Doherty’s book is a much better resource!”
―Lori Green LeRoy, author of The Inadequate Conception From Barry White to Blastocytes

“As a mom of two, this fantastic book had me laughing out loud. Emily Doherty is brilliant at ‘telling it how it is’ when it comes to the mysteries of pregnancy. If you feel like laughing, or know someone who’s expecting, pick up this hilarious, quick read. You won’t regret it!”
―Jill Kelsey, editor, First Time Parent magazine

About the Author

Emily Doherty is a mother of two and a full-time working mom. She is currently a director of mutual fund sales for MFS Investment Management where she has spent the last eight years educating financial advisors as well as doing public presentations on the stock market and other investment related topics. When she is not traveling around the state of Virginia and Washington DC, she is at home with her husband Patrick raising her two young sons, Cullen and Lachlan. It was her time spent with the family that inspired her to write her recent book, Funny Little Pregnant Things. This hilarious pregnancy guide takes the reader from the womb to the world in an all-too-real fashion. A graduate of Northeastern University and once an avid rugby player, Emily is driven to succeed. She looks forward to her upcoming book tours and speaking engagements, as well as authoring a series of children’s books.

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